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a new diary entry
Apr 02 09someone recently reminded me that i hadn't written a diary entry in a few months. so here i am.
what does one write when one doesn't feel like writing? it's not that i don't feel like writing. it's more a case of there being too many outlets now. everyday there is an update to make on myspace, facebook, this site and now twitter. that's over and above anything i'm working on for a song or for my book. and then there's just normal daily emails. how clever and funny can one attempt to be in a single day?
i am neither clever nor funny today. here is what I am.
tired: i am on the last date of my most recent tour and since i've been sick for the entire duration of the tour, i'm quite depleted. i am also not complaining.
bitter: this tour was the only tour that my label sent me on to promote my latest album Little Daggers. not only was it 6 months after the release of the record but it only consisted of 11 cities and along mainly one coast of the country and involved no promotion. that's all we could afford.
frustrated: for the above reasons.
aimless: don't know what my next move is. of course, there will be more songs. i've already got a bunch of new ones that seem to be of an acceptable quality. but where should they go? should they go on an album? digital only? an ep? nothing? can somebody help me put it out? i have no idea. these questions never stopped me before. but all of a sudden, the same questions seem to be bigger obstacles for my mind and heart to concur.
stupid: the opposite of "clever"
unamusing: opposite of "funny"
paranoid: it's hard not to be when you spend so much time in new york city and you watch too much news
worrisome: see economy
ashamed: why do I want to succeed so badly? it's sort of embarrassing.
bored and boring: i really don't like any new bands at the moment and i can't remember the last time I was excited by an album. someone smart once told me that if you're bored, then you are boring. there you have it. i blame myself.
i apologize for this outburst. i shall now go put my public face on. smiling. repressed. with hand fingering sidearm.
-ve
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